divorcing an alcoholic: The Link Between Alcoholism and Divorce

The fact that your partner is an alcohol addict does not mean he will not provide for the family financially and in all other aspects. Divorcing an alcoholic can cause a high level of stress to both parties. The resultant effects of divorcing an alcoholic can sometimes be unpredictable, hence, it is advisable to get an experienced divorce attorney. These professionals provide legal advice and guide you through the process. With the help of a divorce attorney, you can be rest assured of getting a fair result.

Service products are provided by ARAG Services, LLC. This material is for illustrative purposes only and is not a contract. Contact authorities if you believe that your home, pets or children are at risk of being harmed once you have decided to move out. Avoid discussions with your husband when he’s drunk as it will lead to more problems in your life. Always take your children with you and never make the mistake of leaving them behind in a volatile environment. You will have to determine what behavior you can accept and what behavior means; it is time to call it quits.

“Family functioning in families with alco[…]other drug addiction.” Social Policy Journal of New Zealand, June 2011. “The effects of alcohol use on marital functioning.” Clinical Psychology Review, eco sober house December 2003. Alcoholism has led to a lack of physical and emotional intimacy in the marriage, and one spouse desires more. They have endured physical and emotional abuse and want to escape.

Megan writes about different law practice areas, legal innovations, and shares her knowledge about her legal practice. As a graduate of the American University’s Washington College of Law she is an expert of law in Lawrina’s team and has a slight editing touch to all content that is published on the website. We look at how each of these factors impacts the divorce process in more detail below. Needs to review the security of your connection before proceeding.

Divorcing an alcoholic who is also the family’s financial support

I am married to an alcoholic, whom I love very much, but it is just as this woman described – we are a companion, not a couple. We too have good times, and travel, but then we have alcohol-induced arguments. The anger and feelings of hatred on those bad nights have made the good times harder to enjoy. I personally think this woman did the right thing https://soberhome.net/.

Experienced attorneys can navigate custody battles and property division in a divorce. They can also help you get a restraining order or supervised visitation if necessary. If you’re considering a divorce, it’s important to speak with an attorney to understand your legal options. Your alcoholic partner may be required to abstain from drinking alcohol before and during visitation. Proving that your spouse is an alcoholic can be difficult, but as we discussed above, it can have a big impact on custody arrangements.

Advice For Woman Divorcing An Alcoholic

You should always speak to a child custody attorney for their advice and opinions. The courts will always look at the child’s best interests when making any child custody arrangements. When one partner is an alcoholic, the courts will always favor the non-alcoholic parent. However, you will have to prove alcohol use disorder if your partner denies the claims. We have more information on how to prove alcoholism in divorce further down this page.

Pilossoph holds a Masters degree in journalism from Boston University. Addiction has a personality of its own, which is why the guy and his wife can no longer communicate. It’s like she is trying to have a conversation with a bottle of wine.

Signs Your Spouse is an Alcoholic

But I do believe we are responsible for the consequences of our actions. I took an untrusting wife and proved to her that she was right. This pain gives me no temptation to drink again, and I know alcohol would be catastrophic to my marriage. On the other hand, I know the status quo is unsustainable. I know there is love and commitment, but hope is fading fast.

I know deep down what I should and need to do, but the pleading and begging for another chance makes me need confirmation that leaving is, in fact, not only good, but necessary. In my experience feeling ashamed of one’s diagnosis is not a requirement of making amends to those whom one has harmed. Having received amends made by a loved one, I can assure you that it was a very powerful and positive experience on both sides, requiring no shame. This is the part of the post where I tell you how much better sobriety is than active addiction. This is the part where I’m realistic about the effort required, but explain that the reward is worthwhile. This is the part with the somber yet attainable happy ending.

Join Al-Anon and connect with others who have family members with alcohol use disorder. Request the court drug test your partner to see if alcohol and/or other substances are present. Have clear examples and proof of any time you felt unsafe and how you protected yourself, your kids, your property and your pets (stayed somewhere else, called police, etc.). Dependent on alcohol will be more susceptible to other substance abuse and this may lead to aggression. In fact, this may have already caused you stress, financial problems, your children are being affected, and for some even depression. The minute I walked in, I did see someone I know.

Presenting your evidence for the temporary child custody orders

If your spouse was the primary breadwinner and carried the insurance, ensure they don’t drop you during the separation phase. This is a federal law that requires employers to let employees’ families continue their health insurance after a qualifying event, eco sober house rating such as divorce or leaving the company. You may also be able to get health insurance through your state’s marketplace or Medicaid. An authorized user is someone who has permission to use your credit card account but isn’t legally responsible for the debt.

There will also be options for child support and spousal support available that your lawyer can advise you on further. When excessive drinking links with previous abuse or damage to property, a family court might issue restraining orders to protect you. Alcoholism could affect the outcome of child custody decisions, and restriction on visitations might apply, especially if the ex-spouse is still drinking. You don’t need to tell the whole story of your divorce to everyone but you do need to tell it to your divorce lawyer. Not only are you protected by attorney-client privilege, the more information they have about your situation and the challenges you face the better they will be able to advise and protect you.

But like me, she is probably trying to change him and has false hopes that someday he will magically not be an alcoholic anymore. She is now in therapy, which I am realizing is something that is in my control—unlike most other aspects of this situation. The length of a person’s sobriety is also relevant. A long duration of sobriety makes it more likely that a parent will continue to remain sober and be able to care for their children. When it comes to dividing marital assets, substance abuse is usually not relevant.

• Even in states like California, where there is no at-fault divorce filing, alcoholism can affect divorce-related rulings, such as child custody.
• Staying in a marriage to a substance abusing alcoholic who refuses to get help will break you or the children.
• Alcoholism is a very common problem today especially among married couples.
• The alcoholic parent would have to take mandatory alcohol and drug tests regularly or randomly.

Having more than three drinks on any given day or more than seven drinks each week for women. Having more than four drinks on any given day or more than 14 drinks each week for men. After the observations and interviews are completed, the evaluator will compile a report with custody recommendations to present in court. 3) Becoming defensive when questioned about their drinking habits. Theremaining 33 statesallow the parties to either allege irreconcilable differences or to allege that the end of the marriage is the other party’s fault.

Speaking on behalf of your kid, having one safe, stable home during a divorce is critical, even if it isn’t fancy. Visitation with an alcoholic parent can be very chaotic. If you have a joint account with your alcoholic spouse, call your bank to see if you can lower the daily withdrawal limit. That way, if your spouse tries to make any unusual or large withdrawals, the bank may contact you for authorization first. Many of the ways to prepare yourself are the same, whether you’re dealing with alcohol abuse or not. Check out our leaving your husband checklist and how to leave your husband with no money for the basic details.

Alcoholism is a common reason why people seek a divorce. Trial is for those divorce cases where the spouses are unable to resolve the issues. This is a request for your spouse to admit certain facts. A failure to admit the facts may carry consequences to your spouse, including being ordered to pay your attorney’s fees incurred to prove the fact he or she denied. Addiction experts will likely tell you they are critical to understanding drug use history. However, the general view is a court cannot order hair follicle testing without both spouse’s consent.

My wife, Sheri, is the product of two divorces in her formative years, while my parents are still married to this day. If you’ve never learned how dramatically our adult lives are informed by our childhoods, then you probably haven’t battled trauma, asked questions and listened carefully to the answers. They say opposites attract, and that seems true in our case, but we seem to mix like oil and vinegar.